Final Countdown

To my dear first born to be: Not long till we'll get to hold you in our arms. As excited I am to meet you, I am slightly terrified as well. Your mother had always been a girl who has this obsessive need to constantly strive to chase down her dreams and goals. These are what makes me feel alive, and helps me feel that my life has a purpose. However, with you coming along, at least for now, I've to give up my career, my body, my musical goals, and freedom. - everything I've worked so hard for the last decade. Most importantly, I am scared of losing my identity. I do not want to be identify as 'just a mum'. I do not want to give up all aspects of myself that makes me, me. I know it doesn't have to turn out that way. But I'm scared that in the upcoming chaos, that will become who I am. On the flip side, as I feel you wiggling inside of my womb, I can't wait to experience the wave of affection rushing towards me the first time I get to lay my eyes on you. I can't wait to be there for each of your milestones and nurture you into this incredible human being. I can't wait to take you around the world, to experience and explore all earth has to offer. I can't wait to love you with everything that I've got. I may not be the best mother. I will make mistakes - lots of them. But I promise you I'll do my very best. Your mum is no quitter, she will not give up on her dreams, and neither will she ever, ever give up on you or put you aside. I feel so privileged to be chosen by you.